Vera Beth is home

Yesterday, I received a birthday gift nearly two years in the making. 

First picture we ever saw
of Vera



In September of 2009, my mother-in-law asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I couldn't think of a single thing, so I decided we'd raise funds and advocate for a child from Reece's Rainbow - and specifically, a child from William's birth country.

And thus, the quest to find Vera's family began. We prayed and prayed. We asked God to lead a family to become Vera's forever family. We shared her story with everyone, and we waited for God to lead her family to her.

Yesterday, I saw those prayers answered. Vera is now a daughter and a sister. She has a Daddy, a Mommy, two brothers, and a sister.

It was beautiful. I can't even put into words what it was like to kneel down beside her and talk to her.

Instead, I'll show you a few pictures of her homecoming, and simply say...

God is good... all the time!

Bonding, Attachment, and a Kirill update

We've been through it twice. Each time, I worried my words would come across as offensive or people would think I was just being a crazy, overprotective mom.

Okay, so maybe I am those things. But when it comes to creating a safe environment for our children - one where they will learn that family protects, and that parents don't leave - I know there are a whole lot more important things than what others think of me. If a so-called 'friend' takes it personal when I ask them not to pick up my child - well, what kind of friend are they?

I'm talking about the bonding and attachment process. Sometimes it's easy and quite natural. Other times it's painful and seemingly never-ending.

I've blogged about it before, but it's been a while. So when I saw Tesney Davis' blog post about it, it was a nice reminder that it's always good to give everyone a refresher.

Many of you might recognize Tesney's name. If you don't, do you remember the Russian judge who told an Alabama couple that they couldn't adopt little Kirill, a precious little boy with Down Syndrome? (read my original post HERE)

Well I haven't had the opportunity to share the news yet, but Kirill is currently at home with his Daddy, Mommy, and brother in Alabama. Yep, the decision was overturned and he's now with his forever family!

So Tesney wrote THIS BLOG POST. It's a letter to friends and family, asking for their help in doing what is best for Kirill. It's similar to emails we've sent out when our boys first came home. I've included excerpts from Tesney's letter at the bottom of this post.

If you've never really been exposed to adoption, it might sound a bit crazy at first. But having lived through some of it with our boys, I can tell you that it is of the utmost importance.

Your friends or family who've recently adopted need to know they're supported and loved. But instead of trying to help by caring for their new child, you can look for other ways to reduce their stress. Bring them a meal. Volunteer to clean their house. Fold a load of laundry. Pick up their dry cleaning. Do their grocery shopping. Drive their other children to school, or soccer practice, or church. There are so many ways to help lighten the load, and let them know you care!

~~~
Excerpts from Tesney's letter:

There are some things about adoptive parenting that are the same as parenting a biological child. There are also quite a few areas that we have learned are different. Through our adoption agency, the UAB International Adoption Clinic, books, other adoptive parents, adoption social workers, psychologists and more, we have learned that Kirill needs a specific type of environment and parenting when he first comes home in order to feel safe & secure and to learn how to live successfully in our family.

While we know that every child is different, we also understand that there are many possible things that will impact Kirill’s beliefs and behavior when he gets home. These include how much nurturing Kirill received, if there was abuse or neglect, the amount and quality of the food he received, illnesses, the quality of care and his unique temperament and personality. The result of these variables can include behavioral issues, emotional disorders and a sense of grief and loss from being separated from the only home and caregivers Kirill has ever known. Adoption is a traumatic and scary event for a child, whether they are newborn or 10 years old. Kirill is being removed from all of his routines and familiar surroundings. If you have children, you can imagine plucking them out of your family and into a totally different home in a different country. Anyone would feel grief and sadness at an event like this. So in order to help Kirill feel safe and learn that we are his parents, we will be creating the type of environment that will help promote security for him during this stressful time.

When Kirill gets home, at the recommendation of the experienced adoption professionals with whom we have been working, we need to implement specific parenting approaches to help encourage a strong, attached, emotionally healthy bond. Kirill needs to learn that we are the parents. He needs to feel nurtured and safe. He will not be used to having parents to love and care for him.

Here are some things we will be doing for Kirill based on research and experience with other adopted children. We will be living a very quiet life with limited trips out and few visitors in for a little while. Social workers and psychologists tell us that when children are first brought into the adoptive home, they often feel overwhelmed, scared, and nervous. By keeping our lives very boring at first, we will be helping Kirill feel safe. This does NOT mean we do not want visitors coming to meet Kirill for the first time. We will just have to limit it a little so that it is not overwhelming. Please feel free to call us and ask to come visit! We just want you to understand that if we have to limit visitors it is not because we want you to stay away. On the contrary, we need your support and encouragement during this time!

We do not want family and friends to stay away from us. We just can’t pass Kirill around for everyone to hold a lot and we will have to be mindful of overloading him with new things and people. We know you will want to hug, kiss, and help spoil Kirill, but it is recommended that we be the only ones to do that at first to improve his chances of attaching strongly to us. Until we feel that Kirill has attached and clearly knows that we are his parents, we will need to feed, change, and take care of him. We know that it may feel disappointing to some of you because you have shared in our excitement of meeting Kirill. I bet you’re especially disappointed about missing out on the diaper changes. Have no fear; there will be many more once he becomes comfortable at home.

As strange as it may seem, adopted children who act very outgoing and affectionate with strangers is not a healthy thing. It is called “indiscriminate affection” and can mean that they haven’t really attached to anyone. It would not be a good sign that Kirill is attached to us if during his first months home he will let just anyone take him and hold him without searching for us. For certain, it going to be a weird and wonderful experience for us. We are so excited and we can’t wait to bring Kirill home so you can all see him and get to know him. Things are just a little different when you are adopting a child rather than having a biological child. He will be adapting to a lot of new things…new parents, new brother, new home, new foods, new time zone (totally opposite of everything he is used to). That’s a lot to swallow at one time. Although we cannot predict how long it will take Kirill to adjust to our home, we feel confident that by implementing some specific parenting approaches it will happen more quickly than if we did not implement those approaches.

We appreciate your time and understanding in reading this. We are giving you this letter because you are very important to us, and we know you will be to Kirill as well. We want you to understand how dedicated and committed we are to helping Kirill adjust and adapt as smoothly as possible during this stressful time in his life. We feel confident that everything will smooth out quickly and we will be on a more normal schedule! Thank you again for your continued prayers, love, and encouragement.

~~~

Becoming Aware: Literal Eyes being Opened



Adeye, with
Harper & Hailee

 Many of my blog readers might know Adeye Salem as "No Greater Joy Mom" (http://www.nogreaterjoymom.com/). Many of you may recognize the sweet faces of her girls Hailee & Harper (pictured here with Adeye).

The Salem family is a homeschooling family. They are a missional family. They have a house full of children. They have biological children, and they have adopted several times. They have so many stories they can tell that share the evidence of God's love, His mercy, and His grace.

But in addition to all that happens within their own family unit, Adeye is also a strong advocate for specific children and specific families that God lays on her heart.

One story is that of Julia - HERE is the first post Adeye wrote about her. And HERE is the blog written by Carey, who is now Julia's Mommy. (By the way, please pray for Julia as she is in the hospital with doctors working to restore her digestive system after such a long period of malnutrition).

Another is about Vanya. He was in desperate need of a family. Adeye entered the scene with guns blazing, and brought together an amazing fundraiser. And soon after, Vanya's forever family had committed to him (visit them HERE).

In addition, Adeye will often blog about other advocates and the fundraiser they're doing for families or waiting children. (one of those is HERE).

One of the most beautiful stories (at least in my opinion!) that Adeye has shared about their own family's experiences comes from their youngest, Harper. On one particular as Adeye was visiting Harper in an Eastern European orphanage, she had no idea whose eyes were watching her. They were, in fact, the eyes of Harper's birth father.

He had been coming to the orphanage regularly to give monetary contributions, but never to see his little one. It's something he just didn't think he could handle - just like how he & Harper's birth mother felt they couldn't handle raising a daughter with Down Syndrome. But when he heard an American family was adopting Harper, he had to see for himself. He watched from afar. And he saw a mom who found worth in a child in a society that deemed her unacceptable. He saw love. He saw devotion. And he saw a remarkable resemblance between this woman & Harper's birth mother.

And God began working on his heart. Several months later, Harper's adoption led her birth parents to begin their own adoption journey... to adopt a little girlwith Down Syndrome! (Read that post HERE)



Anthony & Haven



The stories go on and on. And now, Adeye's husband is also blogging. His blog is - no surprise here - No Great Joy Dad! I am super excited about the ministry he's starting. Have you ever heard a woman mention that she'd like to adopt, but her husband isn't on board or has certain concerns/reservations? Anthony tackles many of the questions and concerns that husbands often have when their wives approach them about with the prospect of adoption. He's real. He's genuine. He's passionate. And he's unapologetic. I love it!

As I was preparing to write this post, Adeye shared a new post about her daughter Haven. Haven came their family via international adoption in 2008, but not before she went through the devastation of having a family come to adopt her and then, for whatever reasons, choosing to leave her behind (read Haven's story HERE). Haven is a beautiful little girl who is blossoming before her family's eyes. While Haven is non-verbal, she has no trouble conveying her thoughts and needs to those around her. And just this month, another significant moment in Haven's life occurred. For almost 3 years, they were told that Haven's vision was fine. But this month, they found out that was not true. Haven was in great need of glasses. Now Haven's eyes have been opened - in a literal sense! Read about Haven's sight HERE.



The Salem Family

I'm so thankful for the Salem family, and others like them, who so boldly seek to answer the James 1:27. Their eyes have been opened, and they cannot be silent. Praise God!

Now that your eyes have been opened, how can you help?

• Pray: Follow Adeye's blog and pray for the children and families that she mentions. Pray for the Salem family as they seek to provide advocacy and support to orphans and adoptive families. Pray for their children as they grow and become all that God intends them to be.
• Give: Consider giving to a family who's seeking to adopt a child with special needs. Visit Reece's Rainbow and sponsor a family!
• Go: Do you feel led to pursue a special needs adoption? Contact Reece's Rainbow to learn more!

Becoming Aware: Kirill's Story, and our Mighty God

Remember Kirill? The little boy that a judge deemed unworthy of a family? (read my March blog post HERE)

                  Our God is greater - our God is stronger!

Today, Greg & Tesney Davis stood in the supreme court in Kirill's home country. And today, the original ruling was overturned.

In just a few short days - as soon as they have the court decree in hand - they will be brining Gregory Kirill Davis home to his forever family! He is an orphan no more.

God is good... all the time!

http://oureyesopened.blogspot.com/2011/05/god-of-miracles.html



Becoming Aware: Eyes Wide Open

Orphans are easier to ignore before you know their names. They are easier to ignore before you see their faces. It is easier to pretend they're not real before you hold them in your arms. But once you do, everything changes. ~ David Platt, Radical

For the Nalle family, the story began with a boy named Aaron.

They first saw a picture of Aaron in December 2009. A five year old boy, he was (quoted from their first blog post in January 2010), "cognitively normal, considered high functioning and looked a bit like Rob with the deep dimples. He suffered from a condition called arthrogryposis, which limits the movement of his hands; but from the description, his case seemed fairly mild."

Seven months later, Rob & Julia were traveling half-way around the globe to add Aaron to their family.

What normally takes 5 weeks took the family almost 3 months. Tricky legal challenges caused big delays. But God is bigger than the Eastern European court system, and in early October 2010, Aaron arrived in the US and became the youngest in the family of five.

Aaron Nalle



The Nalle family began to attempt to create routine, comfort and love on their new son, and get him the medical care he needed and deserved.

And yet with all of that going well, there was something they couldn't forget.

The Lost Boys. The boys from Aaron's home, the majority of whom are older and/or are simply not eligible for adoption. 110 boys, ages 3 to 35.

You can read Julia's first heart-wrenching blog post about the Lost Boys HERE.

While their eyes had been somewhat opened when they first laid eyes on Aaron's picture, the reality really hit home when they began spending time in the special needs home where he lived. The lost boys - the little ones and young men who live in that home - they were weighing heavy on Julia's heart.

Soon, she began advocating for two of the lost boys that were eligible for adoption: Brady and Heath.


She fought hard, so that these 2 lost boys would not be lost forever.

In December of 2010, a family stepped up and commited to Brady (http://www.happyhartmanfarm.blogspot.com/)


Heath



Heath is still waiting for his forever family to step up & bring him home.

Julia's fight didn't stop with these 2 boys. She knew this group home needed the support of a ministry, but she wasn't sure how to make it happen.

Thankfully, through the power of the adoption community via blogs, email and telephone calls, and more importantly, through the power of God, a ministry stepped up and committed to working with this home.

Read about the day the lost boys were found, HERE. Alyona and Slavik minister to children & teens in Ukraine, including those in prisons, and those in orphanage and special needs homes. And they agreed to begin working on a relationship with the staff of the Lost Boys' home.

They've visited once, and are continuing contact with the director in prayerful hope to continue a relationship.

So what can you do to help?

• Pray - pray for Heath to be given the gift of a family and a future. Pray for the other lost boys, particularly those who have no hope of ever leaving the home. Pray for Slavik & Alyona's relationship with the director. Pray that the director's heart will be softened to allowing ministry inside the walls of the home.
• Give - you can give to Alyona & Slava's efforts by donating to Harvest International HERE.
• Go - Heath needs a family. He deserves a better life. If you're interested in adding Heath to your family, visit http://www.reecesrainbow.com/ to learn more. (By the way, there are also many other little ones waiting for their families through Reece's Rainbow as well.)

The Nalle family's eyes have been opened. They're aware. Julia advocates for Heath, for the group home, and for families that are in the process of adoption.

And now you've read their story and you are aware. What will you do? Proverbs 24:11-12



Help Kirill

"This child is better off just staying in an institution than having a forever family."

Can you begin to imagine going through the adoption process, traveling half-way around the world - TWICE, sitting through court (for 5 hours in this case) and then being told that your request has been rejected?

That's what happened to an Alabama family in a European court room last week. They were on their second trip to visit their son - the trip where they thought would go to court and be declared Kirill's parents.

Why would the judge say no? Only becase Kirill was born with Down Syndrome.

Despite their devastation, this family is holding onto the God who loves them, the God who loves Kirill - and yes, the God who loves the judge that said no.

The family is working quickly to appeal through the Supreme Court in Kirill's country. But we know the Judge who sits on the throne, and we know that He hears our prayers. So please join me in praying that hearts will be softened, and that the decision will be overturned so that Kirill came go home to his forever family. And pray that through this all, God will be glorified.

Here is the Davis family's blog: http://oureyesopened.blogspot.com/ - please leave a note and let them know you're thinking of and praying for them!

And here is an article you can share via facebook, twitter, blogs, email, etc:

http://tinyurl.com/HelpKirill

Please help spread the word (especially to media outlets - need to get the message out quickly!) and please pray!

*** Not only is this devastating new for Kirill & his family - but also for 2 others families seeking to adopt children with Down Syndrome from the same region (which means the same judge).

Pray, Share, Act: Vera

For reasons we do not know, Vera is once again on the waiting children list. Vera will be 6 at the beginnig of April. Thankfully, she is still in the baby house and has not yet been transferred to an institution. But regretfully, this transfer will likely happen very soon. And for so many children, this transfer is ultimately a death sentence.

Please don't make any negative comments about the family that intended to adopt her - we don't know what happened. That's between them and God.

Please don't ask any questions about what happened.

Instead, please PRAY:

• Pray for Vera, that the orphanage staff will have a soft place in their hearts for her and find some way to keep her from being transferred until a family can come and rescue here.
• Pray that a family will step up NOW and commit to her.
• Pray about the possibility that her forever family might be YOUR family.

Do you have room in your home & family for a precious little girl?

• Yes, she is a "special needs" child. But the right therapy could do wonders.
• Yes, she might be developmentally delayed. But then again, our boys were. And they are a picture of what love and attention can do - they are THRIVING.
• Yes, adoption is expensive. But she already has a $3,050 grant. And there is the adoption tax credit - it's $13k for adoptions completed this year, and is fully refundable. And people WILL help if you ask. (and don't get me started on other things we'll spend thousands of dollars on without blinking an eye)
• Yes, international travel is hard. But it's also exciting! And what a great opportunity to share the love of Jesus with those you wouldn't normally get to meet.
• Yes, there can be post-adoption challenges. But there are books, websites, support groups, and GOD.

She needs a family. She needs a bright future. She deserves better than what she's facing now. Please consider Vera. If you're not able to consider her for your family, please share about her via your blog, Twitter, and/or Facebook.

Click HERE to see her Reece's Rainbow profile. There is a facebook share button on her page.

The word Vera means faith in Russian. And I have faith that God is watching over this precious little one.

UPDATE: A blog has been set up to advocate for Vera. It has more photos, as well as opinions & feedback from 2 families that met her while they were at the orphanage. Visit HERE.

Want to see what adoption can do?

If you want to see what adoption can do for a child who's been given no hope...

If you want to see what family can do for a child whose future had been written off...

If you want to see a miracle...

Click on over to Adeye's blog and read THIS ENTRY about precious Hailee.

The Land family... dossier submitted!

Remember Vera? She's the little girl we did fundraising for about a year ago (read about her HERE). On January 21st, I learned that a family had committed to pursuing Vera (read that post HERE).

The Land family is not just seeking to adopt Vera, but 2 other children from her orphanage as well. They have been working diligently to raise funds, knowing that they were very close to having the opportunity to submit their dossier. As of October 16, they still needed $15,000.

On October 20, an anonymous family stepped forward and provided what they needed (read about that HERE).

And yesterday, their dossier was submitted to the SDA!!!

Please pray that everything is in order, and that they will receive their travel dates soon. Pray for their health and safety during this time, as well as the health, safety, and transitions ahead for them, their 2 children already at home, and the children God intends to add to their family.

Slava Bogu (Praise God!)!  Be sure to stop by their blog HERE and let them know you're praying for their journey!

In Memory of Anne Marie

In Memory of "Anne Marie"

a precious little one who left this world just a month before her 5th birthday

She never knew the joy of having a Daddy and Mommy here on earth

But I am thankful that she now knows the joy of being in the presence of her heavenly Daddy

You can read more of her story here

To learn how you can help an orphan with down syndrome,

please visit Reece's Rainbow

94%

If you have just a couple of minutes to spare, please hop on over to read THIS POST from blogger Melanie.

Do Good & Share with Those in Need

Remember Vera, the little girl we did fundraising for last year?

There is a family in Indiana that is working hard to bring her home - along with 2 other little ones from her orphanage.

The Land family is making progress, and hopefully soon they'll be traveling to bring their children home. But as you can imagine, the expense of adopting 3 children is not exactly small.

There are several ways you can help the Land family bring their children home...

• Buy coffee HERE (it is SOOO good!) and a portion of the money goes to the family
• Buy cool t-shirts HERE (similar to the ones we wore on our trip home) and a portion of the money goes to the family
• You can make a tax-deductible donation to their Reece's Rainbow account here: http://www.reecesrainbow.org/sponsorland.html

Please prayerfully consider how you might be able to help this family as they seek to live out James 1:27.

And don’t forget to do good and to share with those in need.
These are the sacrifices that please God. Hebrews 13:16

Continued Prayers for Chrissie

Please keep praying for 4-year-old Chrissie. She took a turn for the worse, and the medical staff is working to try and save her.

Here is their blog: http://allarepreciousinhissight.blogspot.com/

Prayers for Chrissie

Please stop right now and pray for Chrissie, a precious little 4-year-old girl adopted last year who went in for major open heart surgery yesterday.  Things went well at first, but then her heart stopped. They were finally able to revive her, and she is in PICU, but no one really knows right now what to expect.

Click here to keep updated on Chrissie's progress.

Father God, You are the Healer, the Great Physician. You hold Chrissie in Your hands, and we know that through all of this, Your will is to be done. I pray that her lungs will clear, and that her organs will once again be able to function on their own. She was a miracle child going into this surgery, and I pray that she will walk away from this  with an even greater testimony that both she and her family can share.  I pray for Your peace and comfort to envelope her parents, Matt & Lorraine, and the rest of the family. Wrap them in Your love and give them a peace that surpasses all understanding. Please restore Chrissie's body and make her whole again on this earth. I pray this in the name of the One who makes all things new,
Amen.

Lera

Reece's Rainbow has asked us bloggers to get the word out about a precious little girl named Lera. The family that committed to her adoption fell through. Lera is running out of time, and needs her family NOW.

Lera is in Russia, and has $8,600 in grant money available to the family that commits to her.

For more info on Lera, please click on this link (Reece's Rainbow blog).

Shouting from the rooftops!!!

Vera's forever family has committed to her and is pursuing her adoption!!

I cannot begin to tell you how excited I am. I've been sitting at my desk crying, and just trying to let it sink in. Her family has a blog that you can visit HERE. As soon as their donation page is set up, I will share the link. They are also pursuing Sasha, a precious little boy at the same orphanage.

Please stop by their blog and congratulate this family, and join me in praising God for uniting another family!!

Lera, a Netbook, and Vera

Lera is a precious little girl in Eastern Europe who is waiting on a forever family. And the exciting news is that there is a family that has committed to her adoption! Her family is currently holding a fundraiser, and the giveaway is a Dell mini netbook! How awesome would that compact little computer be, especially for a family that might be traveling overseas to get their little one soon!?!? So I encourage you to click HERE to visit their site and donate to Lera's adoption fund.

And while we're talking about Eastern European orphans, just a reminder to please continue to pray for Vera. As far as I know, there is still no family committed to her, and her time is running out. I'm certain that there is a family out there that would be a perfect fit for her, and I pray that they step up soon.

Vera... and maybe a sister for her, too?

Please click HERE and read Michelle's post about Vera and another precious little one in the same orphanage, Alina. Please pray for a family to commit to them soon!!

Wow! Praise God!!

$1328...

... that's how much money is currently in Vera's adoption fund through Reece's Rainbow. It continues to increase. And if a family will commit to her adoption, I will gladly continue to advocate to help you increase her fund even more!

Vera's 5th birthday is just a little more than 3 months away. Please don't let her be transferred. Please share her info on your blog or your facebook page, tell friends and family about her, do anything you can to spread the word.

My Christmas wish was that a family would commit to Vera before the end of the year. There are still a few more days for that wish to come true...